Self-Discovery through Doing Things Alone



This blog post is for those who have never/are afraid and embarrassed to do things alone. Some may feel as though they need a second person to do things with. Sure, some things are fun with company, however, I feel that many people underestimate how much enjoyment you can find in doing things alone. That is why I’m writing this - to inspire, encourage and to tell you that…you don’t.
Want to go to the cinemas, see a show, travel to your dream destination, eat at a restaurant but won’t go because you want company? Chances are, you won’t be doing any of these at all because you’re relying on others to go with you. Everyone has different places they want to go, have different interests and some may not want to step out of their comfort zone. You’ve got to let these people be. Everyone is unique and have their own life path to find and follow. So, don’t let another person hold you back in your own life. Go it alone. Otherwise, you might have missed out on what could be the best movie, concert, holiday or meal ever!

‘NO MATTER HOW ISOLATED YOU ARE AND HOW LONELY YOU FEEL, IF YOU DO YOUR WORK TRULY AND CONSCIENTIOUSLY, UNKNOWN FRIENDS WILL COME AND SEEK YOU.' - CARL JUNG


As I’ve gotten older, I wanted to explore on my own and learn things for myself. It’s in our nature to build ourselves from all that we see, find, feel, guess and assume about our experience in the world. I, for one, want to take advantage of all that we are and embody it. I began doing things alone three years ago, when I took the leap by travelling to India and Bangkok. My first solo trip. I can’t emphasise enough how thrilling the whole experience was, including how I almost missed my flight to Bangkok. For once in my life, I was what most people call “lost” and perhaps feeling “anxious”. I felt an astounding amount of freedom instead. As I continue to embark on more journeys alone, I feel more empowered to carry on making my own decisions and learning from them. Since then, I’ve travelled to more countries alone, spent time learning to surf and explore, as well as having gone out for dinner on countless occasions (including with a random couple after much persuasion). I’ve danced and sang to my heart’s content at concerts. I’ve chatted to the other people there about similar interests and I’ve been to the cinemas all alone! I’m literally taking myself out on a date every time and it’s the best feeling ever!

'ONCE YOU KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, COMPANY BECOMES AN OPTION AND NOT A NECESSITY.' - KEANU REEVES.


Doing things alone is literally a journey of self-discovery. Everyone’s experiences will differ from person to person. Personally, I have lost and gained a lot of things over the years. I’ve lost the feeling of stress, worry, the idea of making people happy, having to apologize for anything, seeking validation and the list goes on. I’ve made better decisions, gained wisdom, self-love and many more positive attributes that have shaped who I am today. I’ve unlearnt what was necessary, to grow and teach myself what is right, as well as other opposing viewpoints. This was also through regular practice of meditation and journaling i.e “morning pages" which aid the joys of doing things alone. It pretty much transforms you to be the best version of yourself. Speaking wholeheartedly, the most valuable thing I learnt was to ‘know thyself’ from doing things alone. From continuing to do so, I’m manifesting things in my life, even far greater than I could imagine. I found my life purpose and a profound connection with God. Some call it Source Energy, Spirit, Creator and so on, but finding God allowed me to feel unconditional love and the feeling of never being alone. That “good feeling” and blissful state of mind is what I inspire others to feel and the first step I would recommend anyone is to…and you’ve guessed right - do it alone.

'GOD HAS MORE IN STORE FOR YOU THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE.' - EPHESIAN 3:2

There’s 365 days in a calendar year. I encourage you to spend one day, just one to begin with, to plan a day of all the things you’d love to see, do and eat - whatever! Above all, have fun doing it. Before you know it, you’ll fall into the habit of doing things alone and become your own best friend. Of course, it may feel daunting and embarrassing at first, but there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve somehow planted in our head and grown accustomed to think it’s sad/unusual to see someone do things alone. Little do you know, they’re probably having the time of their life! ‘Fix your thinking and your problem is fixed’ is what I believe. Hence, I carry a small journal with me (or use your phone), reflecting on how I feel from listening to my inner voice. Before you know it, I’m back in alignment with myself with no feeling of uncertainty. I also listen to a lot of podcasts by Abraham Hicks who has helped me through my journey of self-discovery. I’d recommend listening to her, to anyone! (She’s like an oracle!)
So go and book that crazy adventure. Go eat at that restaurant you want to try. Go dance and sing with strangers at a concert you’ve always wanted to go to. Go to that art exhibition your friends find boring. Whatever it is that you want to do, go do it…do it alone, and win at life in every small and big way.

A little bit of reflection...
My recent holiday to Gran Canaria was a trip that fulfilled my needs of doing everything that I love. From napping on the beach, exploring an island and its sand dune, surfing, horse riding, camel riding and hiking in the hills. I used that time to be alone, to do things and be who I am from a distressful start of the year. At the time, I was feeling tense as if I was holding onto negative energy. Therefore, I believe it is important to release and re-energise energy by doing fun things that make you happy - no matter how big or small. If you’re like me and you enjoy learning the science of understanding the “why” to feeling what you feel, then I would recommend listening to teachings of Neuroscientist, Dr. Joe Dispenza. A snippet of what I learnt from his research is that you can regenerate and release stress related emotions by reprogramming your mind. “Your brain does not know the difference between what is real in the external world and what you imagine in your mind”. To give an overview of what I learnt, is that the moment you begin to feel more elevated emotions, your heart opens up to the feeling of gratitude, appreciation and love. As you practice this feeling more, your body sends 1300 chemicals from your parasympathetic nervous system to repair and restore your metabolic functions, bringing you more to the present moment. From this, not only do you feel re-energized and connected with everyone and everything…you evolve. It’s almost like shedding the old version of yourself and becoming a new and stronger you. I’m all for that! In the end, I came to the understanding that the event played out exactly how it was meant to, i.e fate. 
Looking back, I’ve grown a significant appreciation and respect for those who carry out the act of selfless service. I hope to continue helping in a way that I can and would like to think others would too. Now that I’m back in the U.K with a refreshed state of mind, feeling more like myself, I’m ready to continue winning at life and spread more love!
Thank you all for reading my blog. Comment, like and share if you like this post.
Love y’all! Peace! x
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